Thursday, November 11, 2010

My son is happy

My response/comment to a blog that went viral last week "My son is gay" from  This mom will probably never read the comment because there's probably been thousands of comments left on her blog.  I read this article last week when a friend messaged me the link on Facebook; saw it on my MSN page a few days ago; decided I wasn't going to comment; but woke up this morning with it on my mind for some reason.  I've read a little about this issue lately so here are my thoughts:

You seem to be fine with the fact that your child may or may not be gay. I believe that right now your child is not gay. No matter how much the media and pro-gay groups try to emphasize it, there is absolutely no proof that we are born gay. It does seem that some children have more of an affinity for things that are generally considered appropriate for the opposite sex and some girls appear physically to be more masculine, and some boys more effeminate.

I think as parents we should do our best to encourage our girls to accept and embrace their femininity, and our boys to do the same for their masculinity. Even at a young age. If we notice our son seems to be drawn to activities that girls are stereotypically drawn to (ie. ballet, gymnastics), it does not mean that we should totally shoot the child’s interests down, but that we could also introduce activities that are considered more masculine. Maybe our son could be a beautiful ballet dancer, and is not that great or interested in basketball, but let’s introduce another activity such as Scouts to have the boy well-rounded. Maybe he could also share an interest in nature and the outdoors, while interacting with boys his own age and developing positive male friendships. I can’t quote a research article but I’ve read on numerous occasions that children who turn out to be gay often develop a sense of inferiority to those of the same sex, and even look to older or more typically masculine boys as idols of the masculinity that they feel they are lacking. Maybe his school friends will make fun of his ballet abilities, but his Scout mates will see a different side of him, encouraging him that he can develop positive relationships with other males where he doesn’t feel inferior.

I guess my main concern is that no matter how much homosexuality is being “normalized” in our society, the fact remains that gay teens and adults have greater incidence of depression, suicide, guilt, feelings of loss for a normal nuclear family etc etc the list goes on. Why would we want to encourage our children to embrace that?

As a last note, I find it so funny that you found it offensive that the Christian women at your Christian pre-school were offended by your child’s outfit. They perhaps could have been a little more tactful (ie not talk about it in front of your child) but it’s a CHRISTIAN pre-school. Christians in general do not believe cross-dressing, homosexuality, etc are normal human behaviors. Would you have been offended by a Muslim school finding it shocking that your teenage daughter came to school without a burka? Would you spend time in a nudist/naturalist resort and be offended if someone asked you why you were wearing clothes? Would you be offended if a mothers at a Jewish school looked at you funny walking into school munching on a leg of ham? If you have a problem with the religious attitudes/beliefs of your school then you should look elsewhere. That being said, there is nothing wrong with addressing that mom in private and expressing your anger at her talking to you that way in front of your son. The mom who was standing there in dismay I’m sure was unaware of her actions, but the talking mom should have known better.

1 comment:

  1. Okay, so as I was just closing out the page of nerdyapplebottom blog, I noticed in the top right hand corner how many comments, not views, comments that were left this blog: 43, 277... whoa!!! "probably thousands" was a little understated on my part.


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