Thursday, December 8, 2011

My kind of man

So this is the kind of husband I have…  I work two 12-hr days in a row.  He’s  home with the 4 kids.  On Tuesday, he prepares super-delicious Manicotti for supper all the while dressing all the kids in their Christmas dress clothes to go the school Christmas concert.  They are there not only on time but 25 minutes early at 6:05pm.  Day 2 I get home at 7:20 pm but he’s not home because he’s out carting the kids to dance and karate.  There are two baking dishs of Rice Krispie Squares on the the table as well as dozens of chocolate chip cookies.  The table is also covered with grocery bags of baking supplies that he picked up earlier.
That’s the kind of man I married… my kind of man :)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Slowly going yzarc

This was the original name of my post but now I am definitely going yzarc because I just spent all morning researching and writing a blog and went to answer the phone and somehow my 2 year-old cut the entire post.  Even though I was “saving drafts,” I accidentally saved the deleted post over it instead of hitting UNDO!  I can’t believe it.. it was worth the work though and maybe I will rewrite it again soon.  BOOOOOO….

Friday, November 11, 2011

A Proper Perspective

No sleeping in this morning for me as my 8 month old is uncharacteristically awake at 7:30 am.  As I lie in bed hearing the wind roar and the rain beating off the windows I think of my husband who is doing Red Serge duty later this morning at the Remembrance Day Service.  “Sucks to be him” I think as I contemplate dragging my kids out to the service to watch from the protection and warmth of our vehicle.

Then I realize what Remembrance Day is all about.  It’s remembering that men lived and died in trenches in conditions much worse than a little November rain.  It’s being thankful for the men and women who now serve our country to assist in bringing peace to other countries.  And never forgetting that we enjoy the freedom we do because battles were fought, wars were won, and lives were lost.

Thank-you Veterans and Members of the Canadian Armed Forces.  Canada is eternally grateful.  I am eternally grateful.


In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses, row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow

In Flanders Fields
Dr. John McCrae, Canadian Soldier, May 1915

Friday, October 21, 2011

Coincidence? Me - sa not know

Why is it that you may never read or hear about a particular subject but the moment you do, or the moment your brain actually takes notice, that you’ll hear or read about this subject again within a week? This happens to me all the time! Tonight it happened and I’m wondering if it was a mere coincidence.

The past 6 months or so I have been reading The Left Behind series by Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. For Christians and non-believers alike, these books are a great read, exciting and Biblically based. Don’t be distracted as I was on the sappy romance of book 2 or 3 (can’t remember which) as this fades and is less a prevalent story. I’ve taken a hiatus from the original series because I have to order the next book from another library and delved into the prequels (they were at my library). I just finished book 2 of the prequels and got online to check my email etc. I also wanted to see how popular the Left Behind series was in relation to other fictions series.

My email contained one of those hoax emails asking for signatures to stop a petition to the FCC trying to eliminate Christian broadcasting. They had a list of names of well-known Christian speakers including Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Charles Stanley, and David Jeremiah and how they would no longer be broadcasted. I heard of all the others but not David Jeremiah. I Googled this so-called petition and of course it’s been circulating in various forms for 8 years now, the one I received since 2008.

So my search about the popularity of the Left Behind series led me to the New York Times Best Sellers list*. It didn’t help much with my question but as I scrolled the top-sellers in the various categories many were familiar: The Help, the recent book turned blockbuster movie; Heaven is for Real, about the little boy who recounted descriptions of a visit to heaven; The Five Love Languages, after 15 years still at the top of the list for Paperback Advice and Miscellaneous, which is awesome. At the top of Hardcover Advice and Miscellaneous there was those names again David Jeremiah and Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen I knew, young curly haired guy, never really listened to him much when I’ve seen him on TV cause he never really caught my attention. But who is David Jeremiah? So I looked up his new book.

The title isn’t very revealing: “I Never Thought I’d See the Day!” The day for what? I soon found out that is a book regarding the changes that have occurred over the last couple of decades and how Christians are to respond to these changes. As I downloaded a sample of the introduction to the book I was surprised to find it dedicated to none other than Tim and his wife Beverly LaHaye. So…. I finish a book about the last days as prophesied in the Bible, check my email and read a fabricated and totally unrelated story about a Christian teacher I’ve never heard about, Google about aforementioned book, end up on the New York Times Best-sellers list and realize this Christian teacher is on the list for books he’s written about the end times and has dedicated his latest book to the very author whose book I had just finished reading … Hmm coincidence?

I believe there are some things that are coincidences and some that are not. This one? hmmm not so sure. Is it God’s way of telling me I need to get me this book by David Jeremiah? You must realize, after reading the Left Behind series now in succession over the past few months, and reading the book of Revelation as I finally finished the Bible from cover to cover in July, I’ve been a little on the paranoid side. Maybe paranoid is not the right word, but my interest in end-time prophecy is piqued as it has been at times over most of my life, okay maybe a little paranoid :). I did an personal study in my early twenties on the end-times, and have a read a few books on the subject over the years. I try to keep up on current world events and how they fit into the picture of the end times but it seems the more I learn, the more there is to learn. There are two subjects that I try not to think about too much: end-time prophecy and abortion. The latter because it breaks my heart to the point where I cry my eyes out in desperation and the former because it makes me feel like I’m going crazy.

This book seems to deal less with the changes in our culture that are indicative of the end-times drawing near, but more of how Christians are to combat and remain true to God’s word in a society that is becoming increasingly God-less. I use God-less instead of godless because there is no lack of gods in our culture, both implicitly and explicitly worshipped. Maybe what I really need to be reading about is that despite how depressed and often angry I feel pretty well every time I read the news headlines, that God is in control, and that there is hope. I focus on the age-old questions: “Aren’t You as angry as I am about the constant defaming of Your name? How much more can You tolerate? Are coming today Lord? Is it next week? Next year? Jesus, I know even You don’t know the exact hour or even the day but You must know if it’s soon? Will we go with You right away or are we to endure some or all of the Great Tribulation?”

Instead I should be asking “Lord, what can I do for You today to further Your kingdom and bring You glory?”

*When reading the list of the best sellers I was surprised that so many Christian titles were listed, particularly in the non-fiction and advice categories. While quickly scanning the children’s best sellers lists I was taken aback to see Richard Dawkins as an author. Richard Dawkins? The evolutionist Richard Dawkins? The atheist who’s life work has been to elevate science and obliterate religion? I’m amazed by the disconnect of having numerous Christian authors peppering the “advice” category of best sellers and yet the “children’s chapter books” has one of the most anti-religious, essentially anti-Christian authors of our time. Who’s indoctrinating now? It brings much credence to David Jeremiah’s first chapter of I Never Thought I’d See the Day “When Atheists Would Be Angry.” It makes me fearful for the generation that is coming after mine.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Funeral

Has there been a day when God is just like slapping you in the face with His Word?  Moments when you don’t have to guess what He’s trying to tell you, it’s so obvious that you would be an idiot not to figure it out.

Today’s been one of those days for me.  I was cleaning up my kitchen and became overwhelmed and sorrowful just out of the blue.  Not long after that the song “Forgiven” by Sanctus Real came on the radio.  It’s one of my favorite songs but I haven’t heard it in a long time.  The words of the song spoke straight into my heart, so much so that I immediately searched the song on YouTube to listen again and posted it to my Facebook page.  I determined in my heart, as the song says, that “when I don’t measure up to much in this life, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ.  I don’t have to carry the weight of where I’ve been, I’m forgiven.”  I thought alot about people who are hurting.  People who have a lot more baggage to carry around than I, and about someone in particular, wondering what kind of pain they have.  After a few tears of thankfulness these feelings disappeared, as quickly as they had come.

Just as I finished washing the dishes, I realized I was still thinking about this person but mostly about how much this person has hurt me.  It struck me that I should be concentrating less on what this person has done and praying for them instead.  By now it was soon time for my favorite radio program, Walk in the Word, to come on which I hadn’t listened to since last week.  The name of the message James MacDonald preached today is “The Burial - Making Forgiveness Final”, from the series “Have the Funeral:  God’s plan for your past”.  The series is about forgiving others who have hurt us and putting that pain behind us, burying the pain if you will.

Something I have been reciting to myself over the past few years has been “Well, this person hasn’t asked for forgiveness, how can I forgive them?”  James says there is only one passage in Luke that admonishes to forgive those who have repented.  Most of the passages regarding forgiveness make no mention of repentance.  I am not responsible for this person’s repentance or lack thereof, I am simply responsible to forgive.  Of course, simple is an understatement.  James asks the members of his live audience to take a piece of paper and write the person, the pain and state that they are forgiven, and that it will never be read but placed in a container and actually buried - a funeral for the pain.  He argues against personally verbalizing forgiveness to someone who has not asked for it, but to repent of unforgiveness to God alone, state your forgiveness and leave the rest to Him.  “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15).

I think I need to have a funeral.

To listen to today’s message by James MacDonald click here.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


When I hear my 6-month-old laugh hysterically just because her brother threw a playing card within her line of sight… When my toddler giggles under a blanket while “hiding” from Daddy… When my 5-year-old laughs at her own silly antics… When my 8-year-old roars from the depths of his belly at the latest episode of America’s Funniest Most Videos (as he calls it)… When I am filled with joy by these precious moments, it is sometimes instantly taken away as my heart aches for those who’ve deprived themselves of these incomparable joys. It’s their child who has been deprived of life, torn limb from limb in an act so violent that we’d be hard-pressed to find another crime on earth as horrific. But they themselves have been deprived of all the love, joy and purpose that child could have given them or, if not them, another family.

When you ask for mercy, you will receive it. When you receive mercy, your mourning turns into dancing, and your weeping into joy.

Friday, August 5, 2011


A friend just recommended a blog to me because according to her facebook post it “really made me think of you".  From a first glance, I can see why she said that.  The second post on this page by Sarah Mae addresses a criticism of her latest book 31 Days to Clean:  Having a Martha House the Mary Way.  If my friend (who was a university roommate) didn’t know back then that I need help in the cleaning department, then she knows now if she’s read the blogs I’ve written about it.  By the way, I’ve also blogged briefly about Mary and Martha.

The third post on Sarah Mae’s page is titled “For the lemon pound cake nights…”  The author delves into the different ways we cope when need a break from the stress or disappointment or any other array of negative feelings we may have at time to time about our lives.  She “escapes” with pound cake and latte at Starbucks.  Ironically, my “escape” lately has been a warm or rather hot cup of coffee which is the name of this chick’s blog:  I made coffee earlier planning to sit and enjoy a cup while my husband finished making our late supper but I sat down instead to another of my rarely visited escapes:  writing this blog.  It is now nearly bedtime and I still haven’t had time to sit down to drink it.  Once I’m done feeding my little baby and putting her, the last of my four darlings to bed, I’m certainly going to enjoy my escape to cafe latte land.

As I now sip satisfactorily on my roasted bean bliss, I’m feeling particularly thoughtful because Sarah Mae’s words from her lemon pound cake post have brought back memories of when I too was “coming undone for days because of how overwhelmed with life I was. I pretty much had everything I ever wanted (husband, babies, the ability to stay home, etc.), but I was drowning.”  And memories of when God’s word breathed life straight into my heart.  When chayah, Hebrew for “live”, became a life motto for me.

After having dealt for years with overwhelming feelings of unwarranted guilt and inadequacy I was losing my faith, not so much in God, but in my ability to ever allow God to make changes in me that would make life worth living.  In the months before, God had shown me His unfailing love for me (I’ve written about that here).  Despite the ways God was revealing Himself to me I still struggled with a lack of joy and purpose for living.  I wasn’t suicidal per se, but I was really questioning the relevance of my existence.  I was a Christian, yet I was extremely unhappy, and I couldn’t understand why God would put me on this earth to live in such misery.  Since as long as I could remember I wondered why I was born, and as Job did, I cursed the day I was.  One particularly frustrating day I was in my bathroom freaking out.  I don’t know why the bathroom but that’s where I was.  Crying out to God for help and asking Him to reveal His word to me I began to read my Bible.  I simply opened up to Ezekiel where I had previously left off reading.*  I began to read Ezekiel 16 and the words echoed the wretchedness that I felt:
On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths.  No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you.  Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised. (vs 4, 5)
Reading this now I realize how awful that sounds but that was how I felt.  I felt like that little baby, alone, uncared for and unloved; despised and helpless; abandoned and hopeless.  I kept reading . . .
Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!”  (vs 6)
Imagine that one word Live coming off the page and becoming larger and larger.  That is what I saw.  Live left that precious book and became imprinted on my mind.  In that one word I felt God saying to me “Live!  I want you on this earth.  I put you on this earth.  I want you alive and not just to breathe and exist but to be content and to be fulfilled.  Don’t just survive, live in wholeness, in the completeness that I’ve planned for you.”  He then promised me in His word:
I made you grow like a plant of the field.  You grew and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. (vs 7)
What else can I say?  That moment, that “Chayah!” moment was the most impactful moment of my life.  It’s why I chose to name my 3rd daughter Chayah.  At 5 months pregnant we had yet to choose a girl’s name.  After watching the movie Defiance, I was enthralled by the name of one of the characters, Chaya, which in it’s Hebrew guttural pronunciation sounds like “kHy-yah”.  Out of curiosity I looked up the word in my Hebrew-English dictionary and was amazed that it meant “live".”  I told my husband I didn’t care how we pronounced it but if she were a girl her name had to be some variation of Chayah (we later chose to soften the kh sound to sh).  The next day I was scheduled for an ultrasound at the children’s hospital to confirm whether or not the first ultrasound at my local hospital was correct in a diagnosis of fluid around her heart.  Thankfully it was incorrect and we were able to find out that we were having a little girl.  That evening, once again out of “curiosity” I looked up the Hebrew word that was used in that passage from Ezekiel.  Sure enough it was chayah.  The one word that God spoke in a book filled with lengthy monologues was “Chayah!”  I believe God gave me the name for my little girl as a reminder of the way He wants me to Live!
Obviously, life isn’t always peaches and cream (or coffee and cream), but I’ve never sunk to the lows I felt then.  I still need to escape to the quiet place with my Savior sometimes to maintain my sanity but He’s taught me that I’m worth it, life is worth it and to work harder to truly Live.  Now that my cuppa Joe is done and it’s way past my bed time, I look ahead to my next chance to escape.  Maybe next time with a good book.  Say, 31 Days to Clean?
* In my quest to read the Bible from cover to cover I placed a stroke beside each verse as I read it.  Ezekiel 16 had not been stroked so I assumed that was where I had been reading in the days before.  I later realized that I had not left off reading at Ezekiel 16 but actually had been reading about 5 chapters ahead according to the strokes I had made.  I believe God allowed me to skip those chapters in the past because He knew that I would need to go back to read them precisely when I did.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Modern Conveniences

I’ve been without an oven for about a month now.  The element in my oven went and despite mine and my husband’s efforts, so far we haven’t been able to find a new one to fit.  The oven went the night that my husband went away for vacation with my 2 oldest kids (along with the leaky pipe in the basement and my washer while he was away-grrr).  I was fine without an oven for just me and my babies but when he got home he took the element out altogether and now I can’t even use my stovetop without tripping a breaker.  As per my last post, I love my George Foreman grill and have been getting along okay with just that and the BBQ.  However, it’s been getting a little tricky without the stovetop.  Here’s some pics of the adventure I had trying a fantastic recipe from fellow blogger, and Newfie, Barry Parsons from Rock Recipes.  I did make some changes to the recipe for taste such as using only 1/3 of ginger, a smidgen of crushed chillies, and substituting seasoning salt for five spice.  I also don’t keep peanut oil on hand so I used canola instead.  My husband thought it was phenomenal commenting “If this was in a restaurant, this would be my favorite thing to order.”  It’s Crispy Honey Orange Pork Medallions with brown rice and egg rolls.  I’ve tried orange-based Asian recipes before with very little luck, but this one looked so good and it’s turned out to be a winner.





George Foreman Grill, electric fondue pot, and the good old microwave





100_2090The finished product!

I started the sauce in my fondue pot while I prepared the pork.  Fried the pork in the baking pan on the George Foreman.  Meanwhile thawed the egg rolls in the microwave, and boiled some water in the electric kettle.  Once the pork was ready and added to the sauce, I switched up to the grill plate and baked the eggrolls while finishing the rice with the boiled water in the microwave!  Whew that was a mouthful.  Despite the result of my last three blogs, I don’t intend on turning this blog into a foodie blog but I really do love cooking.  I have a few other ideas for things to blog about but the food has been topping them all lately!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Homemade Hummus with My Make-It-Easy Appliances

My family and I have been eating alot of hummus lately and on my last trip to the grocery store I decided to pick up a can of chickpeas and make the stuff myself.  The first time I ate homemade hummus it was made by my very close friend (probably the nicest person I will ever meet in my life).  She LOVES garlic, and that’s probably an understatement so I’m sure she made hers with 6 or 7 cloves of raw garlic which was a little too potent for me.  The recipes I’ve looked at call for 2 or 3, so I used 3, and I roasted them for a milder taste. 

In the last few years I’ve stocked my kitchen with any appliance that makes cooking and food preparation easier.  My latest addition, the G5 George Foreman Grill, has proved to be as useful as it claims.  There are 5 plates but 2 of them are used for making waffles so it really only has 4 different functions.  My husband bought it for me almost 1/2 price at Christmastime, as well as a new Magic Bullet on sale.  Good ole Canadian Tire.  I find the only problem I have with my new grill is getting used to using it instead of say, turning on the oven.  I was going to roast sesame seeds in the oven for homemade tahini paste and to roast the garlic but caught myself before I’d wasted all that energy pre-heating my oven.  The reason I needed a new Bullet was because the plastic mechanism that turns the blades on my old one had cracked.  I know other people this has happened to and my hummus making friend says the trick is to unplug the Bullet when you are using it in “Lock On” mode instead of trying to unlock it.  This is as technical as I can get when trying to describe this problem so if you have a more valuable description to offer, please do!  So far it seems like the unplugging thing is working but if this Bullet breaks prematurely (like barely a year of use like the last one), I will not be buying a Magic Bullet brand blender/food processor again.  In general however I love my Bullet and use it very often.  A silicone spatula works great to scrape sticky food from the cup.  They really should include one with the Bullet actually.

I turned the grill on high (or 3) and heated it up.  I peeled and cut 3 cloves of garlic, placed them on one side on the baking plate and drizzled them lightly with olive oil.  I might use more than 3 next time or try them raw because I could do with more garlic flavor.  I also minced 4 cloves of garlic in the Bullet and sauteed it in olive oil to top the hummus.  I sprinkled the sesame seeds on the other side of the plate then I closed the grill, turned it down 1 and set the timer to 5 minutes.  I’ve never roasted sesame seeds before and the recipes I looked up range from 5 to 15 minutes in the oven but all agreed to not brown them as it creates a bitter taste.  I figured 5 minutes with grill closed should do and a few of the seeds were starting to brown so I think that was just about right.

Tahini (sesame) paste is basically roasted sesame seeds made into a paste with oil.  Some recipes call for sesame oil (Chinese) while others call for olive oil (Greek).  I have both so I thought I’d use both.  Most recipes online are for making a huge amount of tahini paste but I found a recipe for just about the right amount for my hummus recipe.  I used a recipe for hummus from my Magic Bullet 10 Second Recipes book with a little tweaking.  I almost never use a recipe exactly as it’s written.  I’m a tweaker.  For instance, I found the 2 tablespoons of liquid called for in the hummus recipe was not nearly enough to blend the ingredients in the Bullet, and I ended up using 5 tablespoons or 1/3 cup.  I admit this could have been due to the fact that I used the small cup instead of the tall cup that was recommended but anyways the hummus turned out great and as I mentioned, I think the only thing I will change next time is adding more or raw garlic.  Here’s the recipe:

Tahini Paste

  • 2 tbsp. roasted sesame seeds
  • 1 tsp. sesame oil
  • 2 tsp. olive oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt

Place sesame seeds, oil and salt in Magic Bullet, blender or food processor and grind until smooth.  If using a blender or food processor you may need to add up to 2 tablespoons of warm water.


  • 1 cup canned chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained, reserving liquid 
  • 1/3 cup of liquid from chickpeas or chicken stock
  • 3 cloves garlic, roasted or raw
  • 1 tbsp. lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp. tahini paste (or all of homemade tahini paste)

Add all ingredients into the Tall Cup of the Magic Bullet or a food processor.  Twist on the cross blade for the Magic Bullet and blend until smooth.  The traditional way to serve is to pour the hummus into a bowl and drizzle it with olive oil, then sprinkle the top with paprika.  May also be topped with minced sauteed garlic, or bottled garlic.  Serve hummus with toasted pita triangles. 

Toasted Pita Triangles

  • whole-wheat pocket pitas (approx. 1/2 pita per person)
  • olive oil
  • garlic powder

Pre-heat oven to 450 deg F.  Using kitchen scissors, cut pitas into triangles and place on cookie sheet.  Drizzle with olive oil and lightly sprinkle with garlic powder.  Bake for 5 minutes.  For crispier “pita chips”, open up pita pocket by cutting around the circumference of the pita to make 2 thin slices.  Separate slices before cutting into triangles.

For original hummus recipe (larger serving), click here.

For original tahini paste recipe, click here.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Chili Lime Shrimp

I brought this to a party a few weeks ago and a friend asked me to send her the recipe so I thought I’d just as well add it here too.

-Olive (or cooking) oil 1/4 cup 60 mL
-Liquid honey 3 tbsp. 50 mL Chili Lime Shrimp
-BBQ sauce (or sweet chili sauce for more heat) 1/4 cup 60 mL
-Lime juice 1/4 cup 60 mL
-Dried parsley 1 1/2 tbsp. 25 mL
-Onion powder 1/2 tsp. 2.5 mL
-Garlic powder 1/4 tsp. 1.25 mL
-Salt 1 tsp. 5 mL
-Dried crushed chilies 1/2 tsp. 2.5 mL (or more for extra heat)
-Raw jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined, 2 1/4 lbs. 1 kg tails intact or frozen, cooked shrimp small bag (approx. 300g or 30 ct.)
-Bamboo skewers, 4 inch (10 cm) length, 25 - 30 25 - 30 soaked in water for 10 minutes

Thaw shrimp if frozen.

Combine first 10 ingredients in large bowl.

Add shrimp to marinade. Stir to coat. Cover. Marinate in refrigerator for 3 hours, turning several times. May marinade for less but flavours are better if left longer.  Remove shrimp. For raw shrimp, pour marinade into small saucepan and bring to a boil for 5 minutes. For cooked shrimp may use marinade without boiling.

Thread shrimp lengthwise onto skewers, starting at head end.  Or if not using skewers, place in grill basket or grill skillet with small enough holes to not lose shrimp through.  Grill shrimp for 2 minutes per side, brushing with marinade several times.  Raw shrimp should be cooked until pink.

Place shrimp, skewered or not, on broil pan or ungreased baking sheet.  Broil on top rack about 2 minutes per side, basting with marinade several times, until raw shrimp are pink.

1 appetizer: 72 Calories; 1.9 g Total Fat; 150 mg Sodium; 8 g Protein; 4 g Carbohydrate; trace Dietary Fibre

Original recipe from Company's Coming Most Loved Appetizers cook book. You can view it online here.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Where it went

So I’ve been hemming and hawing about what to write for a few weeks now:  “March Break on the Cheap”?  “Our New Life with Baby #4”?  “Battling Chronic Disorganization”?  In short, I’ve had alot of things on my mind.  I think I’ll just start and see where it goes.

Tonight I sit with a little rascal sprawled on her belly across my lap.  My newest little one has been a great sleeper this past week.  She’ll usually take 4-5 hour stretches of sleep at night but the problem is if she’s had a late nap, she’s wide awake until midnight or so, like she is tonight.  Once she settles, I head to bed too ‘cause I can be assured she’ll let me have a good stretch of sleep.  My first two children slept through the night at around two months old so I’m crossing my fingers for this one.

Things are busy here at this house, and mostly very noisy.  It’s a close competition between the fighting and screaming of a seven and five year old, and the dual-crying fits of the babies.  My big baby as I call her, is soon to be two but she still has a lot of baby tendencies of course.  She is also so busy it never ceases to amaze me.  There’s a saying I’ve coined:  “When you have a toddler and you feel like you’re losing your mind, you are not losing your mind, you just have a toddler.”  I realized this when my second child hit the toddler age.  I had thought I was just going through a particularly rough time emotionally when my first child was a toddler (which was the problem in part) but much of it was just the fact that that age is a really rough age on Mama and baby.  Toddler’s can be so emotionally labile, disobedient, and absolutely into EVERYTHING.  It’s kind of deceiving in that they are little older so you tend to let them have a little more freedom because you aren’t worried about them as much.  However, that backfires because before you know it the toilet is clogged with a children’s board book (my son) or the Vaseline you didn’t put away after the last living room diaper change is all over their face (my first daughter) or the make-up concealor that was neatly tucked away in your drawer is suddenly all over your bathroom sink (my current mess maker).  My toddling terror of late is a big climber which makes things twice as difficult.  She doesn’t just find some mess to get into, she goes looking for it.  Such as going through our vanity drawer to find my make-up, getting a stool to climb up onto the vanity, proceeding to color her face and the sink with a full tube of concealor, and at sometime during her make-up coloring, using a bar of soap to decorate the vanity mirror.  Where were Dad and I you ask?  Obviously relaxing a little too much.  Then again these shenanigans can happen in a matter of minutes, and just when it clicks with you that your little one is just a little too quiet, you smack yourself in the head because you know that just means trouble.

So that really kinda covers life with our new baby.  She isn’t much work at all.  Well she’s work of course, nursing every two or three hours, diaper changes and occasional fussiness is work enough but it’s easy work.  It’s trying to take care of everything else around caring for her too that’s the hard part.  Just when I get to work at one task, someone is hungry or ready for a nap or needs a diaper change or wants to play a game and believe me once I’ve been distracted it is so hard for me to get back on track.  I mentioned last time that my Mom came to stay with us during the last couple of months of my pregnancy.  It was an answer to a prayer for me really that I’m not sure I really prayed for.  I had often said to myself, “I just wish I had Mom or somebody come to stay with me and show me how to keep things organized.”  I don't know if I ever really put that wish God-ward but having Mom here gave me a reality check of what I need to do to keep my home and ultimately my life in order.  Don’t get me wrong, I will never be the domestic goddess my Mom is; I don’t where she gets her energy!  But the experience has given me the motivation to do better.  Those of you out there who aren’t messies may not understand why these seemingly common sense tasks are so overwhelmingly brain boggling for me but I dunno, you just have to be in my shoes.  I don’t think time and time management computes with me the way it does to most people.  My Dad’s nicknames for me since childhood have been “Speedy Gonsalez,” a sarcastic moniker from some 50’s tv show I suppose (I should ask him about that) and the more literal “Slow Poke”.  So has tardiness and disorganization been something that has slowly crept up on me as I added more people to my family like it has for many busy moms?  Nope, not at all.  I’m glad to say that it hasn’t really gotten worse, but I always seem to lose 10 minutes somewhere along the way that makes me late, as a single person and now as mom of four.

Speaking of the angel who gave me that wonderful title, I think she is finally settling for sleep and it’s time for me too.  Keep stailing.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Baby, baby, baby ohh…

Let’s get to the big news.  On my last blog we were praising God for our little baby’s un-arrival.  Thankfully and miraculously my pregnancy progressed on as normal (well as normal as pregnancy can be) until the last week and a half.  I came in on a Tuesday for an appointment with my obstetrician.  When the baby was being monitored for heart rate, it was found that the heart rate was dipping.  It wasn’t anything immediately serious but an indication (or a red flag as my doctor called it) that the baby could be in trouble in the future.  The doctor concluded I should have an immediate induction.  I was very, very sceptical because inductions often do not work and can lead to other complications including the need for a c-section.  He talked me through it and of course, the odd chance that I would need a c-section was not worth risking putting my baby in any more danger. 
I left the doctor’s office, went to Wal-mart to pick up a few last minute things, and drove home to get ready to go back to the hospital.  I arrived back at the hospital around 6pm and the induction probably started about 7pm.  The doctor estimated about 6 hours and labor would have started.  Well it didn’t.  I would feel some hard cramps when I walked around but they would subside when I laid down and on top of that I had a vicious headache.  With the headache and little contractions keeping me awake I decided I would ask for some Demerol so I could have a decent night’s sleep and try again in the morning.  The nurse had to check me before administering medication and I guess that got things working because the contractions then started around 2:15 am.
Labor kicked in after that and by 5:45pm the Demerol had worn off and I had virtually no pain control only a little nitro gas.  I asked the nurse to get me some Demerol a little early and of course she had to check me again.  I was about 3-4 cms dilated at the time.  And once again, that kicked things into high gear.  Demerol hadn’t started to work yet so I used the gas to control my breathing.  Within 15-20 minutes I was ready to deliver my baby.  But there were two big problems:  firstly, the doctor wasn’t “on the premises” as my nurse so politely put it.  The nurses would have been perfectly ready to deliver the baby but the second problem was that he was necessary to be there if we were to collect my baby’s umbilical cord blood.  For more information about that click on the link at the bottom of this blog.
So here I was ready to push, and couldn’t.  What an awful feeling.  It was only a matter of minutes but it seemed like forever to me.  I started to push as soon as he came in the door and moments later baby girl Jordan was born at 6:27 am.  And she was in trouble.  Her umbilical cord had been tightly wrapped around her neck, but thankfully this didn’t cause any problems.
She’s such a precious addition to our family.  I believe she’s the most content baby we’ve had.  It’s hard work keeping her 21 month old sister from picking at her but we’re learning to balance life with our 4 little ones.  My mom came to stay with us way back when my water broke and she just went home today so it will be interesting to see how I cope with out “da Momma” around to help.  My mom hadn’t been able to be present for any of my other deliveries so I wanted her to be here for this one as it will be our last.  If I had any doubt about whether I wanted more children, it would have been erased during this pregnancy because I had so much pain the last 3 months.  In all 3 of my previous pregnancies I had muscle pain under my ribs on the right side.  With each pregnancy it got worse and proceeded to my back and other side.  I was in nearly constant pain from about 25 weeks on.  Sometimes it was bearable, other times I could do nothing but lie on the couch.  It was the reason I haven’t blogged since then; I couldn’t sit up to a computer long enough to write more than a few minutes without pain.  Even though we didn’t have the baby early like we thought, I am so glad my mom came to stay with me for the last 2 months because it made things so much easier.  Thanks Mom, I miss you already!!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Broken Waters but no Broken Dreams

Thanks everyone for your concern.  God has done a true miracle for me and this baby.  My water broke at 11pm. last night.  I know it was; this is my 4th preg. after all.  I went to the hospital, the strip was a "strong positive" for amniotic fluid, and an internal swab and slide was positive as well as visual seeping of fluid seen by the doctor.  I was having mild contractions at this time similar to hard Braxton Hicks.  As well, it was obvious by just looking and touching my belly that it has gotten smaller.  I was sent to the children’s hospital in the city by ambulance.  Fortunately labor didn't start, but the doctors were anticipating I would have the baby within a few days or a week.  A couple weeks if I was lucky.  When I went for an ultrasound in the morning the sonographer said the Amnio. fluid was normal.  The same tests that were done in my hometown were also negative for ruptured membranes.  Finally, a new and supposedly definitive test was done and it too was negative for amnio. fluid.  With that, the doctors in Halifax decided my water hadn't broken at all and discharged me.  Of course myself and my OBS in know better.  I spoke with him on the phone and he said my waters were definitely ruptured.  Perhaps the break was high in the sac and healed but I know it had to be God's healing power.  There is no other explanation.  My grandmother spent the whole day yesterday (before any of this happened) in prayer, and travail with groans that only the Spirit knows, and I believe it was hers and the prayers of our family and friends that caused the sac to seal up and the baby to be safely tucked in my belly where he or she belongs!  Thanks again everyone for your thoughts and prayers and I will be home tomorrow hopefully.